Let me start by saying that I love dogs. They're loyal, friendly and always ready to play. But let's be real, cats are the ultimate pets - and here's why my cat reigns supreme over your dog:
#10 Because nothing compares to a good nap with a feline friend (see evidence below).
#9 Cats don't require daily walks. You know what else doesn't require daily walks? A stuffed animal, but at least my cat has personality.
#8 Our furry friends have the ability to make us laugh even on our worst days. Just ask any owner who has caught their cat attempting to fit into a cardboard box made for a small doll or chasing his own tail until he trips over himself. Cue hysterical giggles.
#7 Speaking of laughing, they also excel in entertainment value when compared to dogs. Anyone can teach a dog how to "shake hands," whereas only the most talented of cats can high-five you mid-air during one of their signature leaps. Trust me, it's impressive.
#6 Unlike dogs which tend to drool like a leaky faucet...cough...someone's been stealing from the fridge again...Ahem..where was I going with this again? Oh right! Cats groom themselves. No need to spend hours cleaning up after them or taking them to the groomer every six weeks, unless you want to because cuddle time = the best kind of therapy around. And no judgment if you decide to dress your fur baby up in ridiculous outfits either, we all have those moments where we just can't resist making them look like little elves for Christmas pictures. Just remember, no matter how hard you try to convince yourself otherwise, you'll never get away with convincing anyone these aren't photoshopped onto the internet later down the road once said holiday passes. 😉
#5 Let's not forget about claws. While yes both species contain sharp weapons as part of their arsenal, cats use theirs more often than dogs do in playful ways reminiscent of a sneak attack ninja or an adorable kitty version of Wolverine in training montage mode. It may hurt if you're unlucky enough to get swatted unexpectedly, but think of it this way, would you rather face the wrath of someone twice your size OR the smaller creature who happens to weigh far less yet manages to hold her ground when she feels threatened? Easy choice right there folks!
#4 Moving on to food preferences, while many people might argue that bacon rules above all other breakfast meats, cat lovers everywhere will attest that nothing quite beats the sound of your favorite fluff ball scarfing down tuna fish straight from the can. Don't judge me. You all secretly crave some spoonfuls of peanut butter too don't pretend like you don't!
#3 Next topic, shedding. Yes, everyone sheds. It's a natural process of life that means your clothing will forever remain lost causes no matter how much lint roller you use before leaving the house. However, does anything scream “I'm so loved!” quite like coming home to find half a hairball waiting patiently on your pillow after being brushed earlier today? Didn't think so. Points for creativity go to felines everywhere. Dogs, eat your heart out. Literally. At least when your cat hacks up a hairball it looks nothing short of gross and slightly disturbing rather than resembling something that would belong in a horror movie scene involving mutated canines. Shivers.
#2 Finally…the coveted spot for #1 Most Epic Pet Ever goes to none other than my lovely lady Luna who proudly exclaims, “Meow!” atop the winner’s podium because…wait for it…she can open doors. Now, granted, it helps she lives inside of a two story townhome filled with glass patio doors leading outside and that we keep the key within easy reach should we ever need to escape ourselves due to emergencies such as missing snacks, but really...how cool is that?
#1 Last but certainly not least, let’s talk about snuggles. There’s nothing quite like curling up with a warm blanket and a furry companion to keep you company on cold winter nights. Cats instinctively seek out warmth and affection, making them the perfect lap warmer and cozy buddy to watch Netflix with. Plus, their soft purrs are like nature’s white noise machine, helping you relax and de-stress after a long day. Can you say “ahhh?”
So there you have it – ten solid reasons why my cat reigns supreme over your dog. Sure, some of these points may be tongue-in-cheek, but ultimately, the decision between cat ownership vs. dog ownership comes down to personal preference. Both animals offer unique benefits and drawbacks; it’s up to each individual to determine what works best for them and fits seamlessly into their lifestyle. But if you think we cat lovers won’t fight tooth and nail defending our fur babies against canines, well, then perhaps it’s time you met Mr. Whiskers…